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Last month, our founder, Christa, sat down for a conversation with the founder of the Prenatal Yoga Center, Deb Flashenberg, on her podcast Yoga | Birth | Babies. The episode is called NANNY 101. Shared within it are tips and tricks for hiring and employing a nanny or babysitter, whether temporarily or long-term. It's completely appropriate and helpful for nannies, too!  Have a listen here and catch some helpful gems!Are you overwhelmed by the thought of how to hire a nanny in NYC? Have you started the nanny search on your own, but need to run a nanny background check? We are here to help you. Send us an email and tell us about your family's needs - we'd love to help you hire a nanny in NYC, or help you vet your own candidates properly!
Finding a new nanny job in NYC can be a daunting endeavor. There will be a lot of highly experienced, ready-for-anything nannies vying for that amazing position. When you’re up against dozens of other competent nanny candidates, families and agencies will often not even consider candidates who don’t have a professional nanny resume. Having a polished, professional nanny resume is the very best way to ensure that you will get your foot in the door past that first hurdle, and onto an interview. When working with kids, it’s okay to have a little more fun on your resume than you might in other job fields - but you want to make sure that you’re still keeping it professional and always including a few key pieces of information.
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| The word "Values" gets tossed around a lot. Our values are our deeply held beliefs, but more than that, they are the way in which we respond to others, ourselves, and the place from which we strive to operate in this world. We as an agency also take our values seriously, seeing if our candidates will be a great reflection of our core values to our clients. We often ask this exact question in our interviews with our candidates and clients: |  |
What would you say are the top 3-5 values you hope to instill in a child so that they may carry them into adulthood?
Here are three simple rules to live by to help instill values into children in your care.
1. Toss out the old adage, "Do As I Say, Not As I Do".
Be aware that your child sees everything you do (scary!), the good and the not-so-good. You may tell them to be patient, kind, and understanding, but if they don't see this, they won't practice it. For example...
Be aware that your child sees everything you do (scary!), the good and the not-so-good. You may tell them to be patient, kind, and understanding, but if they don't see this, they won't practice it. For example...
- How do you react when someone messes up your order?
- What subtle shifts in your behavior happen when walking behind a person who is distractedly text-messaging?
- How do you speak about other people in front of them, and what does your tone, judgments, and assumptions about the other person indirectly tell your child is an acceptable way to approach a situation?
- Do your children regularly see you taking care of yourself, exercising, eating with decent nutrition, reading a book, or working hard in your job?
2. Extend your values to them as well.
A lot of parents and nannies would say that they want to teach a child to respect others, forgetting that the child is also someone who needs to be shown patience, kindness, understanding, and forgiveness and respect, too! The best way to instill values into children is simply by letting them experience what it feels like to receive these things.
A lot of parents and nannies would say that they want to teach a child to respect others, forgetting that the child is also someone who needs to be shown patience, kindness, understanding, and forgiveness and respect, too! The best way to instill values into children is simply by letting them experience what it feels like to receive these things.
- Demonstrate your respect for their individuality by giving them warnings before transition times, or letting them pick the order of activities they like, or tasks that must be done. Make sure they have space in the home where they may continually work on a project, like their figurines, Legos or block building, without having to clean it up every time. (Ex: "We need to get ready for swimming in 15 minutes, so I will give you one five minute warning when it's time to put down your book.")
- Show them understanding by listening and responding to their cries, even when you are firm about your demand. (Ex: "I hear that you don't want to put on your shoes. It is hard sometimes to get ready in the morning! But times is up now, and we need to get moving together.") This isn't to say don't exercise a boundary or enforce what you need them to do -- just to say that you understand they are upset. Sometimes being understood is all a child needs to feel your love and cope with discomfort.
3. Admit your mistakes.
Don't be afraid to own up to a misstep. No one is perfect, and to not admit when you've done wrong may lead to your child feeling that they have to hide their mistakes from you for fear that you may reject their error.
Don't be afraid to own up to a misstep. No one is perfect, and to not admit when you've done wrong may lead to your child feeling that they have to hide their mistakes from you for fear that you may reject their error.
- If you snapped at them and lost your patience as we all do, apologize for it, and say that even grown ups make mistakes. You can always restate that you still expect them to listen to what you say, but that next time there may be a consequence without you losing your temper.
- If they feel disrespected because you need to rush them out the door, explain why -- maybe you overslept or weren't feeling well, or maybe they just didn't listen to your "Time's up" warnings, and the consequence was that they had to stop at an inconvenient moment.
- Model "openness" in an appropriate manner: it's so much easier for a child to be open with you about their struggles if you are also modeling that openness, too.
Values look different to each family and caregiver.
Of course we all want our children to be high achievers, and have fun in life. We of course want them to be forgiving and kind, and we want them to also be assertive and stand their ground when it's time. We all want them to be respectful, and we want them to also recognize their right to being respected.
The trick for us to successfully instill values into children is finding where the balance lies within in each family.
You want to make sure your caregiver is aligned with these values, and give them wiggle room to do things a little differently than you would. This is where great communication comes in handy!
Of course we all want our children to be high achievers, and have fun in life. We of course want them to be forgiving and kind, and we want them to also be assertive and stand their ground when it's time. We all want them to be respectful, and we want them to also recognize their right to being respected.
The trick for us to successfully instill values into children is finding where the balance lies within in each family.
You want to make sure your caregiver is aligned with these values, and give them wiggle room to do things a little differently than you would. This is where great communication comes in handy!
Are you unsure about what your family's values are, or think you may need a tune up?
Here are some great resources you may want to investigate.
- "The New Family Values"
- Priceless Parenting
- Roots of Action
Here are some great resources you may want to investigate.
- "The New Family Values"
- Priceless Parenting
- Roots of Action
This is the time of year where nannies are booked frequently for date-night sittings: lots of holiday parties, in-laws in town, and nights out for busy parents! I'd like to share a cautionary tale I read recently, and give you some tips based off of this situation, as well as others we have personally encountered.
Recently in a nanny support group I am apart of, a caregiver had been booked on a popular app by a family to babysit for their family in hotel, as they were coming into New York for the weekend. She offered to talk to them on the phone beforehand to give a mini interview, but they declined and said it was fine - they would provide details when she showed up. She had great reviews, so she assumed they were just trusting the references, which is why the reviews exist in the first place. Exercising safety when babysitting is not just for the parents but for the nannies, too!
When she showed up to the hotel on the evening of the sit, she received a text message that said they were running an hour late. After she waited over an hour, sent a check-in text and gave a phone call, both of which went unanswered. At this point, she checked with the front desk attendants just to make sure they actually had a reservation, but in doing so, she learned that there was no one staying there by the name that was given on the booking. This isn't totally unheard of - some people want their privacy - so she didn't think much of it. However, there other signs that gave her pause, and she ultimately left the hotel after fearing for her safety. These warning signs were what inspired this blog.
When she showed up to the hotel on the evening of the sit, she received a text message that said they were running an hour late. After she waited over an hour, sent a check-in text and gave a phone call, both of which went unanswered. At this point, she checked with the front desk attendants just to make sure they actually had a reservation, but in doing so, she learned that there was no one staying there by the name that was given on the booking. This isn't totally unheard of - some people want their privacy - so she didn't think much of it. However, there other signs that gave her pause, and she ultimately left the hotel after fearing for her safety. These warning signs were what inspired this blog.
Here are our best tips on how to keep safety when babysitting in the forefront of your mind when you've been booked through a babysitting app, instead of a mutual connection or agency.
1. Make verbal contact with the parents before you meet, if possible.
Trust me, I don't like talking on the phone as much as the next person, but sometimes just hearing their voice, their tone and cadence, will reassure you this is a parent and not a creep. Ask them a couple questions about their kids, and ask them if there is any specialized care for their child for which you would be responsible.
For the sitter above who was booked, she thought it was odd that when she would call that day, and over the previous five days before the scheduled day, no one would answer, nor return her call, and there was no formal voicemail. The "family" would only follow up via text. This may not have been a big deal, as she had reviews, and this is common for families to book with minimal effort. Lack of verbal contact before isn't a deal breaker, however coupled with the things below, you can quickly see where there was a problem.
For the sitter above who was booked, she thought it was odd that when she would call that day, and over the previous five days before the scheduled day, no one would answer, nor return her call, and there was no formal voicemail. The "family" would only follow up via text. This may not have been a big deal, as she had reviews, and this is common for families to book with minimal effort. Lack of verbal contact before isn't a deal breaker, however coupled with the things below, you can quickly see where there was a problem.
2. Always tell someone close to you before meeting a family for the first time!
Let a friend or family member know the address where you plan to meet and the time you plan to leave by. Keep in touch via text once you arrive to say all is well, and if you are going to be late. Do this even when you are leaving the job to return to your house. Safety when babysitting mostly comes down to covering your bases, and keeping others informed.
3. Look up the names of the parents on Facebook, LinkedIn or Google.
Most parents will have family photos or telltale signs that they are who they say they are. Make sure the story adds up!
The sitter above was caught off guard when no one was reserved in the hotel under the name on her booking. The lack of a voicemail was strike two. They also gave her very common names, so it was impossible to verify who they were via Google.
A way to combat this is to search for them on Google using their names, email addresses, and phone numbers. Something is bound to come up to proves they're a real person.
The sitter above was caught off guard when no one was reserved in the hotel under the name on her booking. The lack of a voicemail was strike two. They also gave her very common names, so it was impossible to verify who they were via Google.
A way to combat this is to search for them on Google using their names, email addresses, and phone numbers. Something is bound to come up to proves they're a real person.
4. Ask one of the parents to come meet you at the door, or in the lobby.
If you are working at a hotel, ask that they come and meet you, if you have any doubts that they are real people in need of babysitting.
If you are working at an apartment in a building with a door attendant, ask the person if the family has children. They may be taken a back by it, but you can explain it is your first time meeting them. If it is a private house and with no door attendant, what do you hear when you come up to the house? Is there laughter? Are there shoes, scooters, or bikes visible outdoors? Is there a large vehicle in the driveway, or a friendly welcome mat?
You can always insist that they meet you halfway in your requests for a personal escort before entering their home - say its a tip for your safety when babysitting that you picked up - no parent will argue with that, and if they are the type to get annoyed or give an attitude, you don't have to work with them again! Your safety when babysitting is just as important as theirs and their children's.
If you are working at an apartment in a building with a door attendant, ask the person if the family has children. They may be taken a back by it, but you can explain it is your first time meeting them. If it is a private house and with no door attendant, what do you hear when you come up to the house? Is there laughter? Are there shoes, scooters, or bikes visible outdoors? Is there a large vehicle in the driveway, or a friendly welcome mat?
You can always insist that they meet you halfway in your requests for a personal escort before entering their home - say its a tip for your safety when babysitting that you picked up - no parent will argue with that, and if they are the type to get annoyed or give an attitude, you don't have to work with them again! Your safety when babysitting is just as important as theirs and their children's.
5. Be aware of your surroundings - where are the children?
When you show up, do you hear children laughing, talking, yelling, etc. outside of the room in the hallway, or out in the street? And if not, when the parent opens the door and there are no children present, is there evidence of children in the room, such as children's cups, clothing, shoes, stroller, and toys? If not, do not enter.
Feel no need to be overly polite in this situation - even if your hesitations are wrong and there really is a family (maybe they just checked in and the kids are in the pool), they will absolutely respect you more for being so safety conscious - which will likely lead to you having a better review! Simply say, "I'm sorry, I was told this booking was for x# of children, but I don't see them... Oh, they are downstairs? No problem! I can meet them down there, or just wait out here in the hall or lobby. I insist."
The sitter in the story above was incredibly forward thinking to think about her personal safety when babysitting. The third strike that ultimately lead to her leaving (quickly!) was when she was alert for the entire two hours waiting for them in the lobby to show up (after they kept texting, "10 more minutes"), she noticed no children walking through the lobby and up to the elevator. That, coupled with their unwillingness to escort her up, led her to walk right out. She made the right decision when considering her own safety when babysitting for this new family.
Feel no need to be overly polite in this situation - even if your hesitations are wrong and there really is a family (maybe they just checked in and the kids are in the pool), they will absolutely respect you more for being so safety conscious - which will likely lead to you having a better review! Simply say, "I'm sorry, I was told this booking was for x# of children, but I don't see them... Oh, they are downstairs? No problem! I can meet them down there, or just wait out here in the hall or lobby. I insist."
The sitter in the story above was incredibly forward thinking to think about her personal safety when babysitting. The third strike that ultimately lead to her leaving (quickly!) was when she was alert for the entire two hours waiting for them in the lobby to show up (after they kept texting, "10 more minutes"), she noticed no children walking through the lobby and up to the elevator. That, coupled with their unwillingness to escort her up, led her to walk right out. She made the right decision when considering her own safety when babysitting for this new family.
So by now you may be wondering how did the family receive the news that their sitter played hardball and left after they would not call back or come and get her from the lobby... Well, after she texted and explained why she would wait 10 more minutes and if she didn't hear back, she would be leaving after waiting nearly 2.5 hours, they never wrote back to confirm, criticize, or say they understood and respected her reasons.
Had she listened and just went upstairs as they insisted, I'm not sure what, if anything, would have happened to her, though given the high possibility this was not a family, she absolutely did the right thing.
Very few of these tips above are "Deal-breakers," however when they are all coupled together, it can spell trouble. Be aware, and keep yourself safe.
If you have any other safety tips to add below, please do! We can all protect each other.
If you have any other safety tips to add below, please do! We can all protect each other.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
It's that time of year again!
At the end of each year, it's pretty typical of families to provide some type of year-end bonus as a way to say thank you. (If this is new to you, check out our blogpost from last year here, detailing some of the "norms" in NYC.) In addition to a cash bonus, some families like to give a little gift to show the appreciation, too! While I don't recommend reducing the cash bonus much if at all, some families do choose heartfelt gifts for nannies as a little extra something.
Needing a little inspiration?
Here below are 12 fun ideas and gifts for nannies for all budgets and all occasions!
| 1. "Bad" weather gear • As the saying goes, "There is no bad weather; only bad clothing." When I was a nanny, I had clothing that simply could not brave the Upper West Side, Riverside Drive winds, and every spring, my rain boots would somehow tear, rendering them worthless. Quite frankly, I couldn't afford the awesome gear that my bosses had, even though I knew it was worth the investment! Nice boots, a rain or winter coat, or mittens make wonderful gifts for nannies, along with a note that says, "We appreciate your willingness to get out there and get the job done! Hope this makes your life a little easier!" |  |
| 2. Nanny's Day Out: self-care and pampering to the max! • Getting a massage is wonderful! Your nanny may appreciate a gift certificate to a spa, but the crème de la crème is doing this while getting an extra paid half-day off! What a nice treat. If you have the ability to come home from work around noon to relieve your nanny, it will truly be a “Nanny's Day Out”. Book the appointment slot, and make it into a whole afternoon planned for their relaxation and rejuvenation. It doesn't have to be the highest end package! A simple massage plus the gesture of the whole "event" is incredibly touching. But, are they not much of a massage/pedicure/manicure person, or is that on the higher end of your budget? Get them a movie theater gift card instead, and put a date in the calendar to them off just a few hours early instead of a half day. |  |
3. Nanny Swag!
• One of our favorite small businesses, Nanny Tees, has some cute gear that nanny's love - trust us! Coffee mugs, bags, hoodies, t-shirts... What more could a nanny want for a relaxed day off?
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| 4. INA membership • Your nanny is a professional, and you respect that person as a vital part of your family. As such, providing them opportunities to develop as a professional is key! The mission of the International Nanny Association is to serve as the umbrella association for the in-home child care industry by providing information, education and guidance to the public and to industry professionals. By giving your nanny a membership, you're making a statement that you respect them as a professional and desire them to keep growing in their work! |  |
5. Handmade goods from your kiddos
• Ok, I know this is a bit more traditional, but frankly, nannies are really touched by heartfelt, handmade goods that are memorable. When first nanny position in NYC ended, the children made me a flower pot, and it sits in my kitchen holding one of my favorite plants in it to this day. A picture frame is also nice with a photo of your nanny and children, too. Anything that is extra special will go a long way! There are some cool places in Brooklyn and Manhattan where you can spend the morning making memories with your children, and then pass along the crafts as a gift. Not just great gifts for nannies, but also great for grandparents, too!
6. Host a family dinner together with taste of their home flavor
• If your nanny isn't from your neck of the woods, research a regional dish or food item to give them a little taste of home. Don't wait long though - if it needs to be special ordered, do it now! You can even take it a step further and sit down together as a family with your nanny to show him or her your appreciation. Even if the dish doesn't taste 100% authentic, your nanny would be completely touched by the gesture and your efforts.
| 7. Matching socks! • Want to make your nanny feel a part of the family? Get some fun socks for him or her, and also the kiddos! Your children will love matching with their best buddy. Just a little something cozy and fun to wear around the house. These are great gifts for nannies AND kids! We personally love Socks & Souls, a company that gives an additional free pair of socks to someone in need with each pair of socks purchased. Think Warby Parker and TOMS. |  |
8. Gift card to get their car professionally detailed!
• Does your nanny drive your children around in their own car? Chances are, there has been some wear and tear. If you have a nanny or manny who is neat and orderly in other areas of their life, they may really appreciate having their car look brand-spankin' new!
| 9. Drinks for Days! • What drink does your nanny always have in her hand? (Or rather, wishes they had in their hand [if it's wine, you hopefully wouldn't see that on the job! ;)]) If it's coffee or a juice, get them a large gift card to their favorite place with a note that says, "Hope this will keep you warm through the winter (or healthy and strong through winter), as you push Kayden around town!" If you'd really like to be an overachiever, stash the gift card inside a cute travel mug or to-go cup with a straw! |  |
| 10. "Tile" - a GPS gadget • Has your nanny lost her keys before (and is this something they're able to laugh at yet? ;)) This cool little gadget comes in handy! It is a square little tile to clip on to a key ring, connect it with the app on a smart phone. When the keys are lost, pull up the app and it will tell you roughly where the item is located. Hooray! No keys lost again! |  |
11. Something fancy!
• If your nanny has an eye for the finer things but doesn't treat themselves, a little spoiling never hurt anyone! Give him or her a nice designer handbag, or a gift card to a luxury store. Bloomingdales or Smythson, anyone? These are really great gifts for nannies because they may not normally treat themselves to something so extravagant!
12. Out-of-NYC Wilderness Adventure
• If you employ an adventurous, outdoorsy person, spring for a day-trip gift certificate for them (and maybe an extra gift certificate for them to bring a friend)! There are many hikes and overnight trips that leave right from Manhattan subways, with full transportation provided. Discover Outdoors or Destination Backcountry are two wonderful companies who sell gift cards.
We hope this guide helps! Remember that it's not what you give, but truly is the thought that counts. Your nanny will just appreciate you thinking of them, and as we all know, a job where you feel valued is a job you love to be at, and your all to.
Happy Holidays, everyone!
Love, KITH & KIN
A member in a local online parenting group I'm a member of posed a question that caused a mild stir. This generous mom employs a nanny whom has no family nearby to spend Thanksgiving with, and she was curious to know other mom's opinions if she were to invite her children's nanny over for the holidays to their big extended family dinner. Another mom chimed in and wondered the same thing about her family's big Hanukkah dinner.
Many moms and nannies were touched by her thoughtfulness, saying how nice it was to think of her. There were some moms who thought it crossed a serious professional line, and many nannies said they would respectfully decline to keep their family life separate. This caused me to consider my own past over the many years I was a nanny, far away from relatives that were not close enough to road trip there.
Many moms and nannies were touched by her thoughtfulness, saying how nice it was to think of her. There were some moms who thought it crossed a serious professional line, and many nannies said they would respectfully decline to keep their family life separate. This caused me to consider my own past over the many years I was a nanny, far away from relatives that were not close enough to road trip there.
If you too are considering inviting your nanny or housekeeper over for the holidays, take a moment to consider these points.
Notice of the state and nature of your relationship.
Do you ask about your employee's weekend, or know small details of his or her personal life like their family, or partner's name? Do you laugh about things in life beyond your children and home? Do you view this person with complete trust, just as family? If so, it would not be a shock to invite them to dinner, and they would likely be honored that you thought of them.
Consider the affect of inviting your nanny or housekeeper into a family setting.
If your relationship is a lot more casual and friendly as we discussed above, your invitation and their attendance will likely only bring you closer in the long run. If you view your nanny as a member of the family, this is a great thing! But if you maintain that the nanny reports to your home to do their job and leave her personal beliefs and life out of conversation, and they accept the invitation, would you feel uncomfortable and distracted, and unable to fully enjoy your family time?
Be clear about your invitation.
Be sure to state that this is in invitation to be a guest -- not an employee. Treat him or her as such: offer them a drink, clear their plate, allow them to sit and don't expect them to clean up after the children. If the expectation is that they continue their duties as they usually would, then this isn't an invitation, but a work day (which is totally fine if that is discussed, and they are paid as such).
Only invite him or her if you genuinely want them there, not because you feel sorry.
This goes without stating: a invitation made in pity will be obvious, and won't be given serious thought. Speaking from my own personal experience, if you genuinely give your invitation, your nanny will really appreciate and be touched by the offer, even if he or she declines.
The bottom line is that if your nanny feels like a member of the family, their presence will not feel out of place or inappropriate.
However, if you don't feel quite close with your nanny yet, having your nanny over for the holidays may be a distraction to your family-time.
Neither of these scenarios are bad!
There is no rushing connection and trust.
However, if you don't feel quite close with your nanny yet, having your nanny over for the holidays may be a distraction to your family-time.
Neither of these scenarios are bad!
There is no rushing connection and trust.
Are you looking for a fun, new Thanksgiving activity for kids? With Thanksgiving fast approaching, you likely have a lot to prepare for. From cooking the turkey or the tofurkey (yes!), to getting ready for guests to arrive, there can be so much hustle and bustle it's often easy to forget to provide some seasonal fun for your kiddos. Though crafts can be holiday-themed and great for creativity, a game like bingo is also a fun way to teach them the typical symbols of Thanksgiving, while discussing the history of that time in an age-appropriate way.
This free Thanksgiving bingo card from Gifts makes for a wonderful Thanksgiving activity for kids! Whether you print them out and give them to your nanny or enjoy them with your kids yourself, it's an easy way to teach kids a little more about Thanksgiving while still having a good time. Just make sure they say what they're thankful for before you let them use their free space. After all, that's the reason for the season!
This free Thanksgiving bingo card from Gifts makes for a wonderful Thanksgiving activity for kids! Whether you print them out and give them to your nanny or enjoy them with your kids yourself, it's an easy way to teach kids a little more about Thanksgiving while still having a good time. Just make sure they say what they're thankful for before you let them use their free space. After all, that's the reason for the season!
Have your own favorite Thanksgiving activity for kids? Share it with us in the comments section below!
- KITH & KIN
- KITH & KIN
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Copyright, Kith and Kin NYC LLC, 2019. Licensed and bonded by the NY State Department of Consumer Affairs, License #2038511-DCA. Kith & Kin Household Staffing Agency seeks to pair exceptional caregivers with vibrant families. Candidates who are legally authorized to work in the United States, and meet our requirements are encouraged to send us your résumé if you are seeking a position as a Nanny, Manny, Housekeeper, Governess, Mother's Helper, or a Baby Nurse / Newborn Care Specialist in New York City, New York State. Kith and Kin Household Staffing Agency does not discriminate on the basis of race, creed, color, ethnicity, national origin, religion, sex, sexual orientation, gender expression, age, height, weight, physical disabilities, veteran status, and marital status. We are a nanny agency in NYC that services the metro area.
Hours are by appointment only. Address: 195 Montague Street, Brooklyn, NY 11201. We make house calls! Call us at 929-445-2016. Unfortunately, due to the high volume of interest, no calls regarding available jobs are accepted. Please check our job board here. Thank you for your interest in working with Kith and Kin Household Staffing Agency! |
