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You work hard as a nanny! Long days of activity planning, meal prepping, and potty training can leave you in need of a well-deserved vacation, once in a while. But how will your nanny-family manage without you? Don't worry, we promise they will. Working long hours without building time for a personal nanny vacation can leave you feeling burned-out and frustrated, and no employer wants that. If you're thinking about using some of your vacation days to go on a trip, just make sure to make an extra effort to prepare your nanny-family for your time off. Here's some tips on how you can make for the smoothest experience possible, for both you and your employers.  Here are Some Tips to Help Prepare for your Nanny Vacation1. Leave Yummy Provisions and Take Stock  Freeze a few dinners by making a double batch of the children's favorite meals. Lasagnas, soups, breaded chicken, and other items that freeze easily are great things to store away for while you're gone. Make sure anything else your replacement nanny might need is also stocked, such as laundry detergent, diapers, shampoo and conditioner for the children. 2. Give Your Bosses Ample Warning Give plenty of advanced notice to your employers. Leaving them scrambling for back-up care isn't the best idea when you'll be out for several days, so do what you can to give them ample warning and time to plan for your absence. Don't drop your vacation plans on them a week or two before! 3. Offer to Help Find Back-up Care  Line up some replacements for each of the days you'll be gone, or give suggestions of nannies they could call and interview if they would prefer to take the lead. Ask around if any of your nanny friends can cover any of the days you'll be gone. If your employers would prefer to interview your replacement themselves, ask your friends if you can pass along their contact information. Use your nanny network! 4. Prepare the Children Encourage the children to show the fill-in nanny just how lovely they truly are. Give them tips on how to make the fill-in nanny feel right at home, and remind them to be on their best behavior while you're gone. Children want to make us proud, and when we have high expectations, they will meet them! 5. Prepare the Fill-In Nanny Jot down notes of your routines and general day-to-day duties. You don't have to write an entire handbook, but it can be helpful to put into writing what your typical schedule looks like, to make the transition as easy as possible both for the family and for your replacement. Write down some of the children's favorite foods, favorite local parks, or favorite bedtime stories. These tips will go a long way in making your absence as easy as possible for your nanny family. But it will also show them just how much you care about their family and are paying attention to their children.  Are you a nanny wondering how else you can prepare your nanny-family for your time off? Have any words of wisdom of your own? Let us know in the comments section below!
There are few places more magical to spend the weeks leading up to the holidays than right here in NYC. In the weeks in between the spectacular Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and the world-watched Ball Drop in Times Square, you can find festive family fun and awesome holiday activities around every New York City corner. From tickets to The Nutcracker to Ice-Skating at Rockefeller Center, the possibilities for fun holiday events for kids in NYC can seem never-ending (and frankly exhausting!). But, fear not, we've assembled our own short-list of some lesser-known but equally merry-inducing holiday events for you and your family to check out!  Our Top 2018 Holiday Events for Kids in NYC1. GingerBread Lane Workshops at the New York Hall of Science --beginning Saturday November 17th Get ready to have your mind blown at this massive gingerbread house display. In it, you won’t find just a couple of houses made of gingerbread cookies, candy and icing. That would be child’s play compared to this 500-square-foot village that has won the Guinness World Record for 2013, 2014, 2015 and 2016! Visitors can make their own gingerbread houses or trains in this popular workshop that sells out every year. Each participant receives a kit with all of the materials that baker Jon Lovitch uses to create his GingerBread Lane exhibition: gingerbread pieces, icing and candy. Recommended for ages 4 and older. $15 per project, plus museum admission. https://nysci.org/event/gingerbread-lane/  2. Winter's Eve at Lincoln Square -- Monday November 26 The annual tree-lighting at Dante Park kicks off this huge neighborhood holiday celebration. From the Time Warner Center to 68th Street, enjoy tons of free entertainment and reasonably priced food tastings from the area's many restaurants. This year, kid-centric attractions include live music from Mister G, a performance by Jack Frost: The Original Mr. White Christmas, face time with Santa, and much more. A lot of the "grown-up" entertainment sounds great for families too, including performances by Arlo Guthrie and Judy Collins, multicultural dance troupes, ice sculpting, Jazz at Lincoln Center, youth choruses, jugglers, stilt-walkers, and more! https://www.winterseve.nyc  3. Winterfest at the Brooklyn Museum — Friday November 23–Monday December 31 We are so excited about this one! New to the scene is the Winterfest. Want to walk through a giant snowglobe? Commune with the world's largest snowman? Slide down a giant inflatable slide dubbed "Snowzilla"? The Brooklyn Museum's first- ever Winterfest promises all that and more, including a winter market, daily live performances, an enchanted tree maze, facetime with Mr. and Mrs. Santa, and a giant menorah. This is the first year for this holiday treat, but it sounds like a tradition in the making. http://winterfestbrooklynmuseum.com 4. Chanukah on Ice at Central Park -- Monday, December 3rd, 6 - 9pm Live music, kosher food, and a giant, hand-carved ice menorah. What's not to love? Join in the biggest Chanukah party in the city! Skate in the beautiful and magical setting of the Wollman Rink, in the heart of New York City’s Central Park.This annual celebration is a prime example of a holiday season event you need to sign up for ASAP, as it always sells out. https://chanukahonicenyc.com 5. Winter Family Fair at The Morgan Library & Museum -- Sun Dec 9, 2018  Enjoy an old-fashioned celebration at the Morgan's Victorian era-style holiday fete for families in conjunction with its annual display of Charles Dickens' original A Christmas Carol manuscript. Meet Scrooge, Bob Cratchit, the famous ghosts, and the author himself as portrayed by members of the Grand Falloons troupe. The afternoon closes with a festive concert of Christmas carols. Free with museum admission. https://www.themorgan.org/programs/winter-family-fair Have any must-do ideas of your own for 2018 Holiday Events for Kids in NYC? Let us know in the comments section below!  With March here at last, it's time to say goodbye to the winter blues and welcome the warmer weather by getting out to some of the many family-friendly activities in NYC this month. Daylight Savings Time this month means you might lose a little sleep, but on the bright side there are longer, sunnier days ahead and lots of ways to enjoy them with your kids in tow. Of course, St. Patricks Day is the big event on everyone's March radar, but if you're looking to avoid the crowds, here are a few more family-friendly March activities in NYC we can recommend! Family-Friendly March Activities in NYC: 1. Children’s film festival - Weekends in March During weekends in March, the Children’s Film Festival welcomes over 25,000 young people, parents, and movie-lovers to explore the world without leaving NYC. Presenting the best new animation, live action, documentary, and experimental film from across the globe, the NYICFF shows new, inspiring, and thought-provoking films about youth from all around the world, suitable for children and families. Check out what’s playing near you, you’re sure to find something the kids will love! New York International Children’s Film Festival 2. Jiggy Tots Irish Movement Class - March 8th Looking for a kid-friendly alternative to the St. Patrick's Day Parade, that still celebrates the Irish heritage of this March holiday? Introduce your toddler to Irish dancing with this class, developed with ages 2-5 in mind. Kids will work on their motor skills, coordination, and creativity with activities that include not only dance but also educational games that teach counting and colors. Combining traditional Irish ditties with toddler favorites, this is sure to get your toddler up and moving. Free on 4pm at the New York Public Library. https://www.nypl.org/events/programs/2018/03/08/jiggy-tots 3. Luna Park Opening Day - March 24th Did you miss those special trips to Luna Park over the long winter season? Don't miss opening day at Luna Park this season. While the beach won't open until Memorial Day, ring in Spring with a family outing to NYC's largest amusement park. All the park's established rides and attractions, both thrilling and tame, will be open—even the water rides. BONUS: Following tradition, the first 100 visitors score a FREE ride on the Cyclone. http://lunaparknyc.com/events/opening-day/ 4. Women's Empowerment Festival - March 24th and 25th The Children's Museum of Manhattan celebrates equality, empowerment, and talent during this year’s Women’s History Month with kid-friendly film and animation workshops, art installations, and interactive storytelling. Look for workshops on the amazing women directing the biggest movies today like Patty Jenkins, director of Wonder Woman, and Ava DuVernay, who is directing A Wrinkle in Time, as well as readings from Good Night Stories for Rebel Girls. http://cmom.org/event/womens-empowerment-festival/ Have any family-friendly March activities in NYC that we missed? Let us know in the comments below!
- KITH & KIN It's that time of year again!At the end of each year, it's pretty typical of families to provide some type of year-end bonus as a way to say thank you. (If this is new to you, check out our blogpost from last year here, detailing some of the "norms" in NYC.) In addition to a cash bonus, some families like to give a little gift to show the appreciation, too! While I don't recommend reducing the cash bonus much if at all, some families do choose heartfelt gifts for nannies as a little extra something.  Needing a little inspiration? Here below are 12 fun ideas and gifts for nannies for all budgets and all occasions! |
| 1. "Bad" weather gear • As the saying goes, "There is no bad weather; only bad clothing." When I was a nanny, I had clothing that simply could not brave the Upper West Side, Riverside Drive winds, and every spring, my rain boots would somehow tear, rendering them worthless. Quite frankly, I couldn't afford the awesome gear that my bosses had, even though I knew it was worth the investment! Nice boots, a rain or winter coat, or mittens make wonderful gifts for nannies, along with a note that says, "We appreciate your willingness to get out there and get the job done! Hope this makes your life a little easier!" |  |
| 2. Nanny's Day Out: self-care and pampering to the max! • Getting a massage is wonderful! Your nanny may appreciate a gift certificate to a spa, but the crème de la crème is doing this while getting an extra paid half-day off! What a nice treat. If you have the ability to come home from work around noon to relieve your nanny, it will truly be a “Nanny's Day Out”. Book the appointment slot, and make it into a whole afternoon planned for their relaxation and rejuvenation. It doesn't have to be the highest end package! A simple massage plus the gesture of the whole "event" is incredibly touching. But, are they not much of a massage/pedicure/manicure person, or is that on the higher end of your budget? Get them a movie theater gift card instead, and put a date in the calendar to them off just a few hours early instead of a half day. |  |
3. Nanny Swag!
• One of our favorite small businesses, Nanny Tees, has some cute gear that nanny's love - trust us! Coffee mugs, bags, hoodies, t-shirts... What more could a nanny want for a relaxed day off?
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| 4. INA membership • Your nanny is a professional, and you respect that person as a vital part of your family. As such, providing them opportunities to develop as a professional is key! The mission of the International Nanny Association is to serve as the umbrella association for the in-home child care industry by providing information, education and guidance to the public and to industry professionals. By giving your nanny a membership, you're making a statement that you respect them as a professional and desire them to keep growing in their work! |  |
5. Handmade goods from your kiddos
• Ok, I know this is a bit more traditional, but frankly, nannies are really touched by heartfelt, handmade goods that are memorable. When first nanny position in NYC ended, the children made me a flower pot, and it sits in my kitchen holding one of my favorite plants in it to this day. A picture frame is also nice with a photo of your nanny and children, too. Anything that is extra special will go a long way! There are some cool places in Brooklyn and Manhattan where you can spend the morning making memories with your children, and then pass along the crafts as a gift. Not just great gifts for nannies, but also great for grandparents, too!
6. Host a family dinner together with taste of their home flavor
• If your nanny isn't from your neck of the woods, research a regional dish or food item to give them a little taste of home. Don't wait long though - if it needs to be special ordered, do it now! You can even take it a step further and sit down together as a family with your nanny to show him or her your appreciation. Even if the dish doesn't taste 100% authentic, your nanny would be completely touched by the gesture and your efforts.
| 7. Matching socks! • Want to make your nanny feel a part of the family? Get some fun socks for him or her, and also the kiddos! Your children will love matching with their best buddy. Just a little something cozy and fun to wear around the house. These are great gifts for nannies AND kids! We personally love Socks & Souls, a company that gives an additional free pair of socks to someone in need with each pair of socks purchased. Think Warby Parker and TOMS. |  |
8. Gift card to get their car professionally detailed!
• Does your nanny drive your children around in their own car? Chances are, there has been some wear and tear. If you have a nanny or manny who is neat and orderly in other areas of their life, they may really appreciate having their car look brand-spankin' new!
| 9. Drinks for Days! • What drink does your nanny always have in her hand? (Or rather, wishes they had in their hand [if it's wine, you hopefully wouldn't see that on the job! ;)]) If it's coffee or a juice, get them a large gift card to their favorite place with a note that says, "Hope this will keep you warm through the winter (or healthy and strong through winter), as you push Kayden around town!" If you'd really like to be an overachiever, stash the gift card inside a cute travel mug or to-go cup with a straw! |  |
| 10. "Tile" - a GPS gadget • Has your nanny lost her keys before (and is this something they're able to laugh at yet? ;)) This cool little gadget comes in handy! It is a square little tile to clip on to a key ring, connect it with the app on a smart phone. When the keys are lost, pull up the app and it will tell you roughly where the item is located. Hooray! No keys lost again! |  |
11. Something fancy!
• If your nanny has an eye for the finer things but doesn't treat themselves, a little spoiling never hurt anyone! Give him or her a nice designer handbag, or a gift card to a luxury store. Bloomingdales or Smythson, anyone? These are really great gifts for nannies because they may not normally treat themselves to something so extravagant!
12. Out-of-NYC Wilderness Adventure
• If you employ an adventurous, outdoorsy person, spring for a day-trip gift certificate for them (and maybe an extra gift certificate for them to bring a friend)! There are many hikes and overnight trips that leave right from Manhattan subways, with full transportation provided. Discover Outdoors or Destination Backcountry are two wonderful companies who sell gift cards.
We hope this guide helps! Remember that it's not what you give, but truly is the thought that counts. Your nanny will just appreciate you thinking of them, and as we all know, a job where you feel valued is a job you love to be at, and your all to.
Happy Holidays, everyone!
Love, KITH & KIN
A member in a local online parenting group I'm a member of posed a question that caused a mild stir. This generous mom employs a nanny whom has no family nearby to spend Thanksgiving with, and she was curious to know other mom's opinions if she were to invite her children's nanny over for the holidays to their big extended family dinner. Another mom chimed in and wondered the same thing about her family's big Hanukkah dinner.
Many moms and nannies were touched by her thoughtfulness, saying how nice it was to think of her. There were some moms who thought it crossed a serious professional line, and many nannies said they would respectfully decline to keep their family life separate. This caused me to consider my own past over the many years I was a nanny, far away from relatives that were not close enough to road trip there.
Many moms and nannies were touched by her thoughtfulness, saying how nice it was to think of her. There were some moms who thought it crossed a serious professional line, and many nannies said they would respectfully decline to keep their family life separate. This caused me to consider my own past over the many years I was a nanny, far away from relatives that were not close enough to road trip there.
If you too are considering inviting your nanny or housekeeper over for the holidays, take a moment to consider these points.
Notice of the state and nature of your relationship.
Do you ask about your employee's weekend, or know small details of his or her personal life like their family, or partner's name? Do you laugh about things in life beyond your children and home? Do you view this person with complete trust, just as family? If so, it would not be a shock to invite them to dinner, and they would likely be honored that you thought of them.
Consider the affect of inviting your nanny or housekeeper into a family setting.
If your relationship is a lot more casual and friendly as we discussed above, your invitation and their attendance will likely only bring you closer in the long run. If you view your nanny as a member of the family, this is a great thing! But if you maintain that the nanny reports to your home to do their job and leave her personal beliefs and life out of conversation, and they accept the invitation, would you feel uncomfortable and distracted, and unable to fully enjoy your family time?
Be clear about your invitation.
Be sure to state that this is in invitation to be a guest -- not an employee. Treat him or her as such: offer them a drink, clear their plate, allow them to sit and don't expect them to clean up after the children. If the expectation is that they continue their duties as they usually would, then this isn't an invitation, but a work day (which is totally fine if that is discussed, and they are paid as such).
Only invite him or her if you genuinely want them there, not because you feel sorry.
This goes without stating: a invitation made in pity will be obvious, and won't be given serious thought. Speaking from my own personal experience, if you genuinely give your invitation, your nanny will really appreciate and be touched by the offer, even if he or she declines.
The bottom line is that if your nanny feels like a member of the family, their presence will not feel out of place or inappropriate.
However, if you don't feel quite close with your nanny yet, having your nanny over for the holidays may be a distraction to your family-time.
Neither of these scenarios are bad!
There is no rushing connection and trust.
However, if you don't feel quite close with your nanny yet, having your nanny over for the holidays may be a distraction to your family-time.
Neither of these scenarios are bad!
There is no rushing connection and trust.
The summer is winding down, but that doesn’t mean it’s time to break out the board games! Fall is arguably the best season to get outside and enjoy all that NYC has to offer and any New York City nanny knows to take advantage of the cooler weather by enjoying some of the best parks and playgrounds for kids.
However, if you’re looking to branch out from your “regular” neighborhood jaunt, here are some top-notch, fun and kid-friendly parks across the five boroughs! Hop on the subway and take the kids somewhere new where they can explore, climb, play, run, and imagine. These spots are more than just swings, slides and sandboxes, but are great places for kids to make new friends and form memories that will last a lifetime.
Break out the fall scarves and sweaters and treat yourselves to a hot cider on the way!
However, if you’re looking to branch out from your “regular” neighborhood jaunt, here are some top-notch, fun and kid-friendly parks across the five boroughs! Hop on the subway and take the kids somewhere new where they can explore, climb, play, run, and imagine. These spots are more than just swings, slides and sandboxes, but are great places for kids to make new friends and form memories that will last a lifetime.
Break out the fall scarves and sweaters and treat yourselves to a hot cider on the way!
If you're a New York City Nanny look no further! Here are our personal Top 5 NYC Playgrounds that are well worth the trip:
1. Tom Otterness Playground in Midtown West
Since it’s grand opening in 2009, this playground has been a huge hit with art lovers and children alike! This giant Tom Otterness sculpture that doubles as a climbable jungle gym is a must-go for you and the kids. Aptly titled 'Playground,' the sculpture of a man has slides for legs, seats for hands and arms a child can shimmy up with ease.
Located on W. 42nd St and 11th Ave, this park is a short walk from several Subway stops. If the kids can’t get enough Otterness, take them on a second trip to the 14th Street Subway Station where they can see his “Life Underground” permanent sculpture exhibit.
Visit the website here!
Located on W. 42nd St and 11th Ave, this park is a short walk from several Subway stops. If the kids can’t get enough Otterness, take them on a second trip to the 14th Street Subway Station where they can see his “Life Underground” permanent sculpture exhibit.
Visit the website here!
2. Billy Johnson Playground in Central Park
| A trip to Central Park with the kids wouldn’t be complete without a quick (or not so quick) excursion to the Billy Johnson Playground and one (or many) turns down the 45-foot-tall, carved granite slide that awaits in the leafy playground. This charming New York City spot has withstood the test of time, and become a staple of Manhattanite childhood memories. It also boasts an extensive sand area, rustic summerhouse-like structures made of wood, and a stone bridge alone which alone would endear it to kids and grown-ups alike. Visit the website here! |  |
3. Ancient Playground in Central Park
So long as we’re talking Central Park, we can’t leave this playground off the list. Walk over towards the Metropolitan Museum of Art and check out the Egyptian-inspired Ancient Playground. Despite it’s name, this is one of the most recently reconstructed playgrounds in the area. The playground's climbing pyramids, obelisk and sundial were inspired by the museum's collection of Egyptian Art. In the main play area, pyramid-shaped climbers with slides and tunnels are linked by concrete bridges. Additional wooden climbers are ideal for older children who love to climb and explore. For younger children, the playground has an obelisk-shaped structure set in a sandbox. Bucket, tire and strap swings accommodate children of all ages.
4. J.J. Byrne Playground in Park Slope
Brooklyn nannies (like us) have been huge fans of the J.J. Byrne Playground ever since its very-grand re-opening in 2012. However, even if you don’t live close by, this park is well worth the trek. After many years and millions of dollars in renovations, the park is now a marvel of off-beat attractions and activities for kids of all ages. It has distinct play areas for kids of different ages. The playground has a nice design flow featuring bucket swings, animal picture boards, little kid equipment and a gated toddler area on one side and more challenging apparatus for older children on the other side. The equipment on the big kid side includes lots of ways to climb, spin and balance, as well as sectioned off big kid swings. There are lots of benches under shady trees in the playground, where you can relax while keeping a mindful eye on the kids. J.J. Byrne Playground is located in Washington Park on Fifth Avenue between 3rd and 4th Streets in Park Slope.
Visit the website here!
Visit the website here!
5. Playground for All Children in Queens
When it first opened in 1984, this Queen playground was the first of its kind; designed to accommodate kids of all abilities and disabilities. It has since served as a prototype for similar playgrounds worldwide. The site features a wide variety of activities for children ages 3 to 12. A network of wheelchair-accessible ramps connect various jungle gyms, play equipment, nature trails, sports areas, and meadows with Braille signs marking the way. The Apparatus Area has play equipment with safety surfacing, a traffic bridge with traffic lights, slides and swings, and a 12-foot-long suspension bridge. It is sure to be a place of unfettered fun for all. Located within Flushing-Meadows Corona Park, this playground can be a fun addition to a trip to the New York Hall of Science! If you're a New York City nanny, add this to your list for a Columbus Day trip!
Visit the website here!
Visit the website here!
Have a favorite NYC playground that we forgot to include on our list? Include it in the comments below!
Happy Playing!
- Kith & Kin
Happy Playing!
- Kith & Kin
Last week, a large storm was forecasted to hit our city on Thursday early morning, long before any of us (without young children lurking in the night!) were to be awake. The DOE cancelled schools the night before, and many business followed suit. That morning, we woke up to high winds, unplowed streets and sidewalks, and widespread subway schedule changes, which lead to massive delays. Many parents were asking each other if they should tell their employee to stay home. And after the decision was made, several nannies and housekeepers were asking each other if it was normal for their pay to be docked for that day.
What a tricky situation! I myself was in a similar situation as a nanny during Hurricane Sandy in 2012. Here are my thoughts for employers and for employees on how to approach this extraordinary instance. Misunderstandings like this can often lead to bitterness and so it's important to address them head on.
What a tricky situation! I myself was in a similar situation as a nanny during Hurricane Sandy in 2012. Here are my thoughts for employers and for employees on how to approach this extraordinary instance. Misunderstandings like this can often lead to bitterness and so it's important to address them head on.
For Employers (families)
First, a snow day school cancellation really throws a wrench into your daily plans as a parent, and likely into your employee's day too. Here are a couple of questions to ask yourself and comments I have heard, and then my personal suggestions about how to approach them.
1. Did your place of employment cancel work for the day, or will your employee's absence force you to take a vacation or sick day?
| If the answer is yes, I have the day off, consider giving your employee the day off. Is it worth risking an injury to them if they slip in the snow? Can you physically handle the tasks and children by yourself for one full day? Do you enjoy sled ridding? ;) Consider these when making your decision. |  |
If the answer is no, I have to still go into work, consider what your day will look like. Is there a backup babysitter or family member you can call? Are you able to go into work later and come home earlier to allow your employee additional commute time? Is there any possibility that you could work from home? If there are no real solutions, you're really left with the choice to ask the nanny to come in or take a personal day for yourself. If it is a housekeeper, consider letting the work pile up, and perhaps ask your employee to work a couple addition hours to catch up, if the need arises.
2. "Well, my friend's nanny came in just fine, and mine could have too. . ."
Hindsight is 20/20. At 7:00am when you or your employee made the decision to cancel, the weather was much different than it was at 3pm.
Also bear in mind that Manhattan's busy sidewalks and streets are cleared much faster than the outer boroughs. For instance, from where I live in Flatbush, Brooklyn, a moderately busy area, many of my neighbors did not clear their sidewalks for 36 hours after the storm, and we did not see a plow until 11am the next day, well after the snow stopped falling. Simply because a friend's nanny came in from Brooklyn does not mean that your housekeeper would have been able to do the same, unless they lived on the same block.
If your employee has to take a bus to a train, this could have easily doubled or even tripled the commute. As frustrating as it may be for you to have to take over for the full day, your employee could have been facing an even more frustrating situation getting to and from work. If your employee made the decision to stay home, respect it. First of all, it is done. Second, remember that he or she may have their own children to attend to. Perhaps they aren't from New York and were fearful of getting injured from a slippery fall.
If this is really making you question your employee's integrity, it is a sign of a bigger issue of mistrust in your own mind. Look a bit deeper as to why you feel angry at her or him for not coming into work. Do you feel like they are just not making an effort anymore? Do you think they are a lazy person? It's crucial to discuss these feelings with a friend first, and look at the things they do that will prove you wrong. If you can think of loads of reasons to support your feeling, discuss this with them. Cite the specific ways they must improve their job performance.
Also bear in mind that Manhattan's busy sidewalks and streets are cleared much faster than the outer boroughs. For instance, from where I live in Flatbush, Brooklyn, a moderately busy area, many of my neighbors did not clear their sidewalks for 36 hours after the storm, and we did not see a plow until 11am the next day, well after the snow stopped falling. Simply because a friend's nanny came in from Brooklyn does not mean that your housekeeper would have been able to do the same, unless they lived on the same block.
If your employee has to take a bus to a train, this could have easily doubled or even tripled the commute. As frustrating as it may be for you to have to take over for the full day, your employee could have been facing an even more frustrating situation getting to and from work. If your employee made the decision to stay home, respect it. First of all, it is done. Second, remember that he or she may have their own children to attend to. Perhaps they aren't from New York and were fearful of getting injured from a slippery fall.
If this is really making you question your employee's integrity, it is a sign of a bigger issue of mistrust in your own mind. Look a bit deeper as to why you feel angry at her or him for not coming into work. Do you feel like they are just not making an effort anymore? Do you think they are a lazy person? It's crucial to discuss these feelings with a friend first, and look at the things they do that will prove you wrong. If you can think of loads of reasons to support your feeling, discuss this with them. Cite the specific ways they must improve their job performance.
3. . . . and so I'm going to dock her pay.
I understand the mentality here. Domestic employees are not salaried -- they are hourly employees and are paid an hourly rate plus overtime, so why would this work both ways in their favor? For a couple of reasons...
First, if you instructed your employee to not come in and did not inform him or her that they would not be paid for the day, there is no reason for them to believe you would be changing their weekly rate, and you should pay them. They did not request the day off, but it was instead offered without a known string attached.
Second, please remember that your employee relies on this income and does not have a back up for other work. It's similar to when you choose to take a vacation for a week: the caregiver is still depending on money and did not ask for an unpaid vacation herself. This employee will also feel blindsided. While it was likely just an oversight on your end, address your expectations going forward after you pay them for the day.
First, if you instructed your employee to not come in and did not inform him or her that they would not be paid for the day, there is no reason for them to believe you would be changing their weekly rate, and you should pay them. They did not request the day off, but it was instead offered without a known string attached.
Second, please remember that your employee relies on this income and does not have a back up for other work. It's similar to when you choose to take a vacation for a week: the caregiver is still depending on money and did not ask for an unpaid vacation herself. This employee will also feel blindsided. While it was likely just an oversight on your end, address your expectations going forward after you pay them for the day.
4. What if I don't want to pay my nanny for the day off because I had to pay for back up care so I could get myself to work (or because I just don't think it's right)?
In this situation, seek "Win,Win." If the additional $150 or so is monumental to you, suggest for the nanny to make up the hours. That way, your employee can still make the money he or she needs, you can get a night out, and the relationship isn't embittered over something small in the grand scheme of things. Everyone wins! If the day of pay isn't a big sacrifice to you financially, pay your nanny and take it as a lesson to be clearer with your expectations going forward in these rare instances before you make an insistence or offer.
The bottom line is that for the sake of your children, home, and sanity, a relationship that is respectful, healthy, open, and communicative is best. The number one reason I personally see employee-employer relationships fall completely apart, leading to resignation or termination, is that the expectations are either one-sided, mismatched, or not discussed, and bitterness sets in and poisons the partnership. We want to avoid that altogether! Little issues like this really are important to address.
For Employees (nannies and housekeepers)
If you're like any of my friends, it doesn't matter what your career is, the thought of a snow day on Thursday excited you! Here are few scenarios and how to best approach them if you're still conflicted about how the day was handled.
1. My boss was home all day. Why did I even come in?
| Believe it or not, parents really need a day off, too, and you would normally be there anyway. Since it's not an employee's business to know what their bosses are doing with their personal time, assume the best. Your boss may have had to work from home. Maybe they wanted to work on one of those personal projects that they can never seem to get done because their free time is spent chasing their children. Perhaps your expertise is truly valued and the extra set of hands was appreciated. Hopefully you felt it! |  |
2. I was told not to come in, but now I see the my paycheck is less than it is every week. My boss didn't tell me I wouldn't be paid and now I'm out a lot of money!
If this happened to you, you either need to let it go without resentment, or speak up immediately. Chances are, your boss wasn't being malicious. Since nannies are legally hourly employees (meaning, for every hour you work, you are paid) instead of salaried (meaning a flat rate paid for unlimited hours), your boss has every right not to pay you. However, you must bring this up with your boss if you rely on a set number every week to meet your bills.
Some nannies call these set hours a, "steady or guaranteed salary," meaning regardless if your boss goes on vacation or tells you not to come in, this is the minimum you are assured to make. Being a household employee, you reserve your time each week for them and do not leave your options open to other work; it's only fair that you can rely on them as well. No need to state anything personal or financial; no need to give your reasons. Simply explain that since you did not request the day off, and you were not told that your pay would be docked, you were not expected to be short on what was normal. Often just by communicating this, a parent will realize the miscommunication and pay you. It may not be. Simply ask, "How can we come up with a solution together?" This is respectful to your relationship with your employer because you're communicating a small issue without allowing it to bubble up, and doing so in a manner that shows you desire to work together.
If your employer does not offer to pay you for the day and you really need the money, offer to work a date night, if your schedule allows, so that you can make up the gap in pay. Also state the importance of clear communication before something is offered. This is a great time to discuss being paid a guaranteed/steady salary 52 weeks out of the year. Chances are if this is the first time your employer has told you not to come in and has not paid you, it won't be the last, so it is crucial to clarify your expectations, as they may be unaware of what yours are.
Some nannies call these set hours a, "steady or guaranteed salary," meaning regardless if your boss goes on vacation or tells you not to come in, this is the minimum you are assured to make. Being a household employee, you reserve your time each week for them and do not leave your options open to other work; it's only fair that you can rely on them as well. No need to state anything personal or financial; no need to give your reasons. Simply explain that since you did not request the day off, and you were not told that your pay would be docked, you were not expected to be short on what was normal. Often just by communicating this, a parent will realize the miscommunication and pay you. It may not be. Simply ask, "How can we come up with a solution together?" This is respectful to your relationship with your employer because you're communicating a small issue without allowing it to bubble up, and doing so in a manner that shows you desire to work together.
If your employer does not offer to pay you for the day and you really need the money, offer to work a date night, if your schedule allows, so that you can make up the gap in pay. Also state the importance of clear communication before something is offered. This is a great time to discuss being paid a guaranteed/steady salary 52 weeks out of the year. Chances are if this is the first time your employer has told you not to come in and has not paid you, it won't be the last, so it is crucial to clarify your expectations, as they may be unaware of what yours are.
3. I had to come in but it was a total mess outside. I don't understand why my boss didn't just tell me to stay home like all the other nannies.
If it still wasn't clear to you why they had you come in, you may be feeling undervalued in your position, which is a sure sign that things are wrong in your professional relationship. It is best to gather your thoughts and maturely discuss your concerns with them. If you had your own child's care to arrange because of their school's snow day, express that to them. Remind them that you have your own obligations and home to take care of in the middle of a storm, and that while you are willing to bend over backward for them, you'd also appreciate some grace and understanding shown to you as well.
The bottom line is that for the sake of your job satisfaction, personal life, and sanity, a relationship that is respectful, healthy, open, and communicative is best. The number one reason I see employee-employer relationships fall completely apart, leading to resignation or termination, is that the expectations are either one-sided, mismatched, or not discussed, and bitterness sets in and poisons the partnership. We want to avoid that altogether! Little issues like this really are important to address.
Have a question or topic you'd like covered on our blog? Send it on over to Christa at Hello@KithAndKinNYC.com
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