Household Blog Kith and Kin Nanny Agency NYC

Hiring a Nanny for a Child with Food Allergies

2/19/2019

For a parent of a child with even a mild food allergy, it can be extremely daunting to leave your child with a new person, one who may slip and forget what snacks have hidden ingredients, or to double check with the kitchen staff at a new restaurant. For your peace of mind, here are some great tips to help ensure that you and your nanny are on the same page when it comes to how to feed your children.

Create a Work Agreement

Here at Kith & Kin, we're huge believers in work agreements! Putting details in writing allows both parents and nannies much greater peace of mind, so that uncertainties and misunderstandings don't arise down the road and all expectations are clear.
If you are the parent of a child with a food allergy, or if you just want to make sure your nanny is preparing a similar diet to what you already have in place for your child, putting the details in a contract can be extremely helpful. If there are certain food items or ingredients that your child must not eat, then lay those out in writing. If you only let your child have a sweet snack on certain special occasions, explain this in the contract.
While this might seem overbearing, remember that your nanny is not a mind-reader, and it always helps to have something to refer back to! Every family is a little different, and the way you approach your child's diet will not necessarily be the same as the family they have worked with before. Laying out all the specifics for your child's diet, will help avoid uncertainty for your nanny. Be sure to give your nanny a copy of the contract, and/or put it up somewhere in the kitchen where they can use it for reference if ever they have a question.

Give your Nanny a Sample Menu

If you are the parent of a child with a food allergy, you might have learned to prepare specific dishes in order to avoid certain ingredients. You also will be aware of which prepared foods have hidden ingredients that could be dangerous for your child's food allergy.
In order to ease your nanny into the food norms of your family, write out a sample menu for a week or two, and give it to them to refer or add to. Include the dishes that your child is used to, and you would normally prepare for them, along with ingredients and instructions for your nanny.
Providing a menu for the first few weeks will ease your nanny into your lifestyle and food preferences, and get them acquainted with the types of dishes and ingredients your child is used to. Eventually, these dishes and ingredients will become second nature to your nanny. Include suggestions for snacks and prepared foods that are OK with you. Also include a detailed list of foods and snacks that are not okay to feed your child with a food allergy.

Avoid Eating Out

The experience of eating a meal out a restaurant can be so stressful and tedious. Even the most well-meaning kitchen staff might not be aware of every ingredient in their dishes. While it can be easy for a nanny to grab a quick lunch in the middle of their day out with your child, if you are the parent of a child with a food allergy you know that sometimes it's best to avoid eating out all-together.
Explain this to your nanny, and make sure you always have meals or ingredients to prepare a quick and easy meal for your child on hand. If you know for certain of specific restaurants or dishes that are safe for your child to eat, write out a list of those and include it in your nanny's work agreement. After all, when it comes to having a child with a food allergy, you can't be too specific with your requests or requirements.

Post Emergency Information

Before the first day of work, make sure your child's nanny knows the specific protocol should they have an allergic reaction. Write down for your nanny the specific instructions that they should follow if your child shows signs of a reaction (and even talk about what those signs are).
If your child needs to be administered an epileptic-pen, make sure your nanny always carries one on their person and knows exactly how to use it - The Red Cross has special trainings for this, and it's prudent to pay for your nanny to attend.
Be sure to write down the contact information for which doctor to call, or which hospital to go to, in the case of an emergency, and have a copy of this in their diaper bag, backpack, and stored in a Note on your nanny's phone - anywhere that is easily accessible.

Remain Prepared

As with any case of a child with a special need or care, the most important piece of advice is to be, and constantly remain, as prepared as possible, while also preparing others in case Plan A falls through. By following these tips and strategies, your nanny will be ready and knowledgeable about what is safe and what is not. When in doubt, your nanny can pass on an item and substitute it for something else. If you have time to prepare your child's food, do. If not, provide your nanny with clear instructions on what to prepare for your child's meals. Leave many ready-to-go snacks for your nanny to give your child, if they're out for the day.

All of these tips will help set you up for success and ensure there are no misunderstandings or missteps in the event of an allergic reaction!

If you are the parent of a child with a food allergy, do you have any tips or advice of your own? Do you have any advice on how to get your new nanny on board with your family's dietary routine? Let us know in the comments section below!

- KITH & KIN

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The Top 3 Ways to Instill Values Into Children

1/15/2018

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The word "Values" gets tossed around a lot. Our values are our deeply held beliefs, but more than that, they are the way in which we respond to others, ourselves, and the place from which we strive to operate in this world.
We as an agency also take our values seriously, seeing if our candidates will be a great reflection of our core values to our clients. We often ask this exact question in our interviews with our candidates and clients:

What would you say are the top 3-5 values you hope to instill in a child so that they may carry them into adulthood?

Here are three simple rules to live by to help instill values into children in your care.

1. Toss out the old adage, "Do As I Say, Not As I Do".
Be aware that your child sees everything you do (scary!), the good and the not-so-good. You may tell them to be patient, kind, and understanding, but if they don't see this, they won't practice it. For example...

How do you react when someone messes up your order?
What subtle shifts in your behavior happen when walking behind a person who is distractedly text-messaging?
How do you speak about other people in front of them, and what does your tone, judgments, and assumptions about the other person indirectly tell your child is an acceptable way to approach a situation?
Do your children regularly see you taking care of yourself, exercising, eating with decent nutrition, reading a book, or working hard in your job?

2. Extend your values to them as well.
A lot of parents and nannies would say that they want to teach a child to respect others, forgetting that the child is also someone who needs to be shown patience, kindness, understanding, and forgiveness and respect, too! The best way to instill values into children is simply by letting them experience what it feels like to receive these things.

Demonstrate your respect for their individuality by giving them warnings before transition times, or letting them pick the order of activities they like, or tasks that must be done. Make sure they have space in the home where they may continually work on a project, like their figurines, Legos or block building, without having to clean it up every time. (Ex: "We need to get ready for swimming in 15 minutes, so I will give you one five minute warning when it's time to put down your book.")
Show them understanding by listening and responding to their cries, even when you are firm about your demand. (Ex: "I hear that you don't want to put on your shoes. It is hard sometimes to get ready in the morning! But times is up now, and we need to get moving together.") This isn't to say don't exercise a boundary or enforce what you need them to do -- just to say that you understand they are upset. Sometimes being understood is all a child needs to feel your love and cope with discomfort.

3. Admit your mistakes.
Don't be afraid to own up to a misstep. No one is perfect, and to not admit when you've done wrong may lead to your child feeling that they have to hide their mistakes from you for fear that you may reject their error.

If you snapped at them and lost your patience as we all do, apologize for it, and say that even grown ups make mistakes. You can always restate that you still expect them to listen to what you say, but that next time there may be a consequence without you losing your temper.
If they feel disrespected because you need to rush them out the door, explain why -- maybe you overslept or weren't feeling well, or maybe they just didn't listen to your "Time's up" warnings, and the consequence was that they had to stop at an inconvenient moment.
Model "openness" in an appropriate manner: it's so much easier for a child to be open with you about their struggles if you are also modeling that openness, too.

Values look different to each family and caregiver.
Of course we all want our children to be high achievers, and have fun in life. We of course want them to be forgiving and kind, and we want them to also be assertive and stand their ground when it's time. We all want them to be respectful, and we want them to also recognize their right to being respected.
The trick for us to successfully instill values into children is finding where the balance lies within in each family.
You want to make sure your caregiver is aligned with these values, and give them wiggle room to do things a little differently than you would. This is where great communication comes in handy!

Are you unsure about what your family's values are, or think you may need a tune up?
Here are some great resources you may want to investigate.
- "The New Family Values"
- Priceless Parenting
- Roots of Action

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My Child is Going to Pre-K, but I Don't Want to Lose My Nanny! What Now?

9/19/2017

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At some point, whether we like it or not, that wonderful little child you're raising and caring for is going to need to go school, and the role of a nanny will likely change in some way, as care for the child won't be needed as often. These transitions can be very challenging on nannies and children alike!
In order to keep the nanny employed at full-time hours per week, some families who hire a nanny in New York will add additional tasks not directly related to typical nanny duties, such as some housekeeping, personal assistant tasks, dog walking, and errands.
Other families will need to move their full-time nanny to part-time hours to accommodate the rising costs of preschool while still employing a nanny in NYC, as we all know how costly these things are here!

So what can done in these two scenarios? How can both parties stay happy with the arrangement, while simultaneously meeting their personal needs? We have some suggestions and pointers for both the employers (families) and employees (nannies).

For families who are able to keep offering full-time hours, but whose duties will change

For as many nannies in New York as there are, so are there numerous opinions and stances on being asked to do household tasks. Therefore, for both parties, it is extremely important to have a sit down chat about the duties, expectations, and any raises that come with the new responsibilities, if applicable. Voice any desires and concerns you may have in this meeting -- now is the time! In doing so, there is no bitterness when things have changed, and the employment won't end prematurely. Above all, stress an open door policy to discuss things as they come up.

Nannies: Remember that your boss is willing and able to keep you at full-time hours, even though they don't need a full-time nanny in New York. This speaks highly of you, and is a testament to the bond and trust they have in you! Feel honored by this, and know that they appreciate the closeness you share with their growing child. First and foremost, make sure you have the conversation about the duties and defined roles, and don't be shy about your likes and dislikes. This will only help you! Remember though, if you walk into a meeting with a full list of dos and don'ts, it may not end very well and you may only be offered part-time hours after all, so be as flexible as you can. This isn't to say you should be cleaning toilets, and certainly not for the salary of just one position, but it is to say that your role is shifting into more of a helper. Only you can decide if this is ok with you. The bottom line is if you agree to it, stick with it, or tell the family you would like to try it out for a month, if you are unsure. If this blended role isn't working for you, tell them as well. No one can punish you for your honesty and integrity. And if you do need to quit, be as open as you can be about timelines and the amount of notice you are able to give.

Families: Remember that your nanny is willing to take on duties that aren't typical of nannies -- be appreciative of that and be reasonable in the types of requests you make, as well as the salary. Very few people, let alone nannies in New York, will take on an entire new position without some added perks or a raise, so sweeten the deal for your employee. If he or she is not trained as a housekeeper, dog walker, or chef, don't ask them to take on these roles without asking them what their level of comfort is, and if you have the time or patience to monitor and train them during the transition. Insist that they be honest with you -- many nannies are afraid to be upfront, as perhaps employers in the past may not have taken too kindly to it. See if you can work something out to keep around the same hours available to them each week with duties that are within their skill set: cooking, cleaning, organizing, and errands are common tasks, but these typically come with a raise. If you normally pay a dog walker or housekeeper $125 weekly, give your nanny part of that extra money if they can do the tasks fully.

For families who must reduce hours to part-time

This transition is wonderful because it may keep the care as consistent as possible for the child. As long as all of the duties and expectations are laid out, as well as benefits like vacation and holiday pay are defined, it can work very well for each party! But approach the conversation with some awareness.

Nannies: While this may be a hard time for you to consider not being with your favorite buddy all day, it is happening, and you must also consider yourself. How will you make ends meet on a part-time salary? What other ways can you make up the hours and find additional work? Does your boss want a weekly date-night that you could fill in for, or do they have any friends? Pull your connections. Ask around for part-time jobs, but also count the costs (figurative and literally) of having two positions -- you will need to know the schedules, preferences, personalities, developmental goals and challenges, and navigational aspects of both positions. Only you can decide if the potential stress is something you can handle while still caring for yourself, too.

Families: Transitioning from full to part time hours is not a personal or financial decision that every nanny can make, so be as graceful and understanding as possible. Try not to take it personally if your nanny can't find another part-time position and has to quit, or if your nanny doesn't really want to juggle two part-time jobs. After all, unless there is a raise at both positions, they will possibly be losing money with the multiple commutes, especially if they have to go to both jobs on the same day. Picking up babysitting gigs isn't always reliable income, as some families will often cancel at the last minute, usually with good reason, leaving your nanny without that extra $100+ they were counting on. Occasional sitting is not the same as having guaranteed full-time hours each week, and this is something your nanny must consider. Know that if your nanny has to quit, it's unlikely that it has anything to do with you, but rather due to the financial instability that being a nanny in New York can often bring.

Whatever you are able to offer and choose, remember that there are many factors in the decision to carry on or terminate a professional relationship. One thing is for sure: the impact on a child's life is an honor, is forever, and is irreplaceable!

If you are needing to hire a nanny, fill out our family in-take form. If you are a nanny seeking a new position, please browse our job board here or feel free to send us an email with your resume.

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Why Didn't I Receive a Response to My Nanny Application?

5/17/2017

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As a nanny agency in NYC, we have seen thousands of nannies come to our agency seeking employment. Unfortunately, only about half of those people receive a follow up email, and only a very small portion of those candidates make it to an in person interview (usually around 15% of applicants!).

Why are only roughly 15% of applicants being interviewed? Why aren't you interviewing more qualified people?

Going through a housekeeping and nanny agency in NYC to find your ideal position is highly competitive and selective. For each position that is posted, an average of 125 applications and resumes will be submitted. While the applicant could be a fantastic caregiver with stellar references, we may never get to meet them because of the way a candidate presents himself or herself. In a stack of resumes and emails, it is important to make yourself stand out.
We get it. Applying for a new job is a ton of work. We've been there! You're likely applying at a lot of places, but if you really believe you are a good match for a listing, put yourself fully into it, and do it to the best of your ability.

Here are a few pointers to capture our agency's (and a family's!) attention:

1. Have well-written and thoughtful answers to the questions on our application, and in your cover letter.

When a candidate answers a question in one short sentence (or even worse, just a few adjectives), it is impossible to get a clear picture of what that candidate is about, and what they really believe about child rearing. Our nanny agency seeks to hire out nannies who are grounded in their developmental theory and experience, and if this isn't displayed at first, we simply don't have the time to give hundreds of candidates multiple chances. No need to write a multiple-paragraph essay (this isn't a high school English class! :)), but between 2-4 sentences is usually enough to concisely convey your answer.

2. Use your very best professional communication.

Informal language, specifically "text talk" and abbreviations, are not appropriate in a professional setting. Check for spelling errors on your resume, and if you need help, reach out to a friend or family member for an extra set of eyes. If you want your application to be taken seriously, present yourself as polished and professional. When we receive emails and resumes that don't use appropriate grammar or conventions (starting a sentence with a capital letter, and ending it with a period), it shows that your interactions are rushed and you may appear thoughtless, even when your character may go above and beyond! If you are perceived by a family as thoughtless and rushed, you likely won't even receive a response back. Start an email with a greeting such as, "Good morning, Kelly," or "Dear Ayesha," and end it with a closing. When an email lacks these elements, it lacks professionalism, and you may inadvertently, or intentionally, get overlooked.

3. Follow the directions in a job position, exactly.

It really is that easy! If a posting says send a PDF, make sure you figure out how to save your word doc as a PDF before you send it (Google it for your specific software). If a posting says you must have recent infant experience, be sure to note it specifically in your cover letter. If a posting says to send three professional references, don't send the contact information of your cousin or aunt (and on that note, we say this in love: don't even consider sending a false reference. This is our job, and we can spot them from a mile away - you will immediately be disqualified. It's best to say that you only have two supervisor references than put down a friend who will cover for you). If you are having trouble with any part of the application, it is totally fine to note this, because it shows that you are paying attention to the details and trying your best.

4. Be sure you meet the requirements of the job.

Our particular job advertisements are detailed for a reason - to save you time by giving you a clear picture of what the required qualifications are, the desired (not mandatory) traits, and the duties you can expect if you were to be hired. There is simply no sense in you taking 30 minutes to go through the process of applying if you don't meet the requirements or wouldn't be interested in the job. For instance, if you can't travel, but a family needs you to spend a month in the Hamptons, you'll feel like you've wasted your time when we won't be able to move forward.

5. Above all, be respectful.

This goes without saying, but be respectful in communication. If you haven't heard back about a position, and you've followed the four points above, a kind follow up is always welcome. Simply saying, "Hello! How are you today? I'm just checking back in about my application," is completely appropriate, and quite frankly, appreciated due to the amount of applicants. Impatiently writing, "I haven't heard anything back? Where are you?!" will not go far. Assume the best. No one means to offend you.

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Weighing Your Childcare Options: Nanny, Au Pair, or Daycare?

3/30/2017

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Many parents who know they will be going to go back to work after their maternity/paternity leave feel overwhelmed by the childcare options, and don't know the pros and cons about each of the different routes they could take. We are here to help navigate this! Let's discuss the three most common child-minding options here in NYC.

Nanny

A nanny is a professional caregiver who cares for children in your home. This option provides lots of one-on-one time and is highly personalized to your needs, as the nanny can keep the child safe and engaged in their own environment. A nanny may also do additional tasks related to the child, such as cooking, dishes, laundry, transportation, and activity and schedule planning. A nanny may speak multiple languages, or have multiple education degrees. The nanny may live-in like an au pair but it does not affect her pay and is more for the sake of convenience. Your child has the comforts that come with having a home base throughout the day -- the ability to be home for meals, playtime, and nap times is a huge plus to many families. A nanny can also structure the day exactly as you'd like. Know of a cool story time? Want your child to have extracurricular activities like music, sports, art, and play dates? Your child can do these things easily. Also, the relationship between a family and a nanny is incredibly special and unlike any other in that your child relies on this person just like they would a close relative, which creates a nice sense of security for your child. A nanny is also convenient for the family, too -- he or she will come to your home before you leave for work, and stay until you get home. No shuttling your children to a different location. No packing lunch and cleaning out a backpack each day. The nanny is an extension of you while you are out.
The number one downside is cost. Hiring a nanny is expensive -- depending on qualifications and education, a full-time nanny can cost between $45,000 and upwards of $120,000 or more in New York City. This person is your employee, and must be treated as such with guaranteed legal protections such as taxes withheld, overtime pay, and vacation and sick time. A nanny also works day in and day out in your home: they will see the good, the bad, and the ugly. Having a bad day? Be prepared to act professional in your home instead of relaxed and unfiltered. Many first-time families and some nannies also do not know how to navigate the close relationship with professional boundaries, and find themselves in sticky situations where expectations and personalities were mismatched. Luckily, with the right resources such as a nanny agency like us, and an accountant/tax withholding company, these expectations and pay requirements can be handled seamlessly to make the working relationship smooth and stress-free.

Au Pair

An Au Pair is someone foreign to the US, between the ages of 18-25, who comes abroad on a J1 visa to live with an American family and care for their children in exchange for housing and a small stipend for up to one year. This option is great when you want your child to learn another language and have exposure to other cultures and care. If you have space in your apartment or home to host a young woman for 6 months to a year, and you are really short on cash for childcare (legally an au pair is paid $195 a week for 45 hours of work or less) this is a great option. Each au pair also receives childcare training before they start to help fill in some gaps in learning and standard procedures. They often can feel like a "cool aunt" or a big sister to the children. If you are a stay or work at home parent, this may be a preferred route. However, this option has a lot of different important points to consider.
Having an au pair can be an incredibly rewarding experience, but it's crucial you have someone who has experience with the age of your child. Hosting someone who is an adult yet still quite young, you often must act as a parent, as their own parents are trusting you to care for them and watch out for their wellbeing in a new country. Some families think it can be like having a teenager in the city, especially if the au pair is from a rural environment in their home country come to a city, or vise versa. Also, sharing your space may feel invasive if you don't have much to spare (i.e. City apartment life), or aren't accustomed to having guests around. An au pair may feel like a babysitter, because that is often what they are. If you are wanting someone to help guide you in your parenting, or help you with behavioral or developmental issues your child is facing, most au pairs just won't have this skill set because they have not had the training or experience like many nannies or teachers in a center would have. Also bear in mind that an au pair will have a different cultural upbringing, and so it is important to discuss developmental theories and your personal behavioral approaches before hiring (potty training, time-outs, eating times and nutrition).

Daycare or Childcare Center

This option has many great pros. First, your child will have many opportunities for socialization. They will learn to share, to listen, and will have a jam-packed day, everyday, along with their naps and meals in the company of many other children and adults, and they also learn to get onto a set, reliable schedule. It takes a village to raise a child, and many parents who have their children in a whole group setting love the community aspect. It is also the semi-affordable option only if you're looking for care 40 hours a week or more (though many centers cost as much as a nanny, but have the structured extracurricular activities built in). The state mandates ratios so your child would never be left in an environment where a caregiver is overwhelmed with many children. Each center is different and has their own policies, but all child care centers must pass the same city safety inspections. But there are some downsides.
The most obvious concern is that your child may be sick, often. Even a properly sanitized environment will still have some germ sharing, and this may be a positive or a negative depending on how you look at it - they are building their lifelong immunities, but the frequency of illness may be higher than in private care, and if they are sick, they can't come for the day, which puts working parents in a hardship if they do not have access to last minute backup care. The other concern would be the amount of individual attention given to your child. This would certainly be less than a nanny or au pair. Of course, their basic needs like diapering and feeding will certainly be met, but the room teachers will be balancing all of the children and engaging with many at once. The variety of experiences they will have in the day will also be very structured and the majority of time will be spent at the site of care, instead of on field trips or outings as with a nanny or an au pair.

Whichever route you choose for your child, make sure it is an environment where they are happy, safe, and engaged with the world around them. Hopefully with this guide, you will have a clearer picture and are able to make the most informed personal decision for your family.

Until next time,

Have a question or topic you'd like covered on our blog? Send it on over to Christa at Hello@KithAndKinNYC.com

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Hiring a Nanny for a Child with Food Allergies

Create a Work Agreement

Give your Nanny a Sample Menu

Avoid Eating Out

Post Emergency Information

Remain Prepared

The Top 3 Ways to Instill Values Into Children

Here are three simple rules to live by to help instill values into children in your care.

My Child is Going to Pre-K, but I Don't Want to Lose My Nanny! What Now?

For families who are able to keep offering full-time hours, but whose duties will change

For families who must reduce hours to part-time

Whatever you are able to offer and choose, remember that there are many factors in the decision to carry on or terminate a professional relationship. One thing is for sure: the impact on a child's life is an honor, is forever, and is irreplaceable!

Why Didn't I Receive a Response to My Nanny Application?

Why are only roughly 15% of applicants being interviewed? Why aren't you interviewing more qualified people?

​Here are a few pointers to capture our agency's (and a family's!) attention:

1. Have well-written and thoughtful answers to the questions on our application, and in your cover letter.

2. Use your very best professional communication.

3. Follow the directions in a job position, exactly. ​

4. Be sure you meet the requirements of the job. ​

5. Above all, be respectful.

Weighing Your Childcare Options: Nanny, Au Pair, or Daycare?

Nanny

Au Pair

Daycare or Childcare Center

Whichever route you choose for your child, make sure it is an environment where they are happy, safe, and engaged with the world around them. Hopefully with this guide, you will have a clearer picture and are able to make the most informed personal decision for your family.

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Here are a few pointers to capture our agency's (and a family's!) attention:

3. Follow the directions in a job position, exactly.

4. Be sure you meet the requirements of the job.